It has been over two years since I updated my Journal. ...Life got busy I guess...

I  love Tarot... I decided to draw my own deck back 2004 or 2003. i do not remember... I just know it was years before I landed on the other side of the world, even before I moved to Ireland.
Each card has a set meaning a firm concept to represent. and although it allow interpretation and flexibility the core idea behind each card is unchanging.
I was inspired to draw my own deck by Joseph Vargo. I own his deck, and although it is beautiful, I fear in some cases his interpretation and symbolism is too far away from the traditional concept. ( I own Rider-Waite deck too, and I can barely stand to look at the artworks )
Some cards I drew up to 5 times. And as years pass by I always seem to think ... now I can re-do it better. And because of that I fear I will never really finish my Deck. Though I do hope to finish at least Major Arcana within a year from now...
I wish I can draw all 78 cards... I wish to make them available for anyone who would like to use them in practice. My interest in Tarot is mainly artistic and esthetic. But what's the purpose of deck? To be used precisely.

Here at least I discovered many beautiful Tarot designs. Though not all of them complete. And I would like to share with you some of my favorite ones.

 I would be glad to see the whole deck by this lady. There is alot of subtle elegance in her design. And even though her interpretation is very liberal they still convey the core concept.
Recently I discover I am drawn more and more into color. Especially blue, and how it can convey both cold and darkness, but also purity. I have never tried watercolors but when I see works of these two Ladies I wish I could one day...
 
And a few of my own:

 And if you ever ask me... I will tell you ... If this lady : ever decides to illustrate Tarot cards, it will me Something, a Real Something to behold ...

Five months have passed and I have picked up most of the pieces... I failed where it mattered the most, but the rest seems back on track.

...maybe some of us do belong with all things broken, unlovable outcasts and ugly animals, to quote Mr Clare

... Devil in the Woods, as I saw it in my dream... Where is he? Bastard did bail out me too ...


On that note... I wanted to express myself in a drawing... But whatever I wanted to say, has already been said and shown, much better than I ever could, by this Lady: SandraHultsved

And just because I can I shall ask you to visit her gallery, if you like dark and eerie please have a look:

I am still alive... somehow.
I managed even to finish my old sketch some of you may remember... I have not hold a pencil in my hand since 13th of March, when my life fell apart on so many levels I care not to enumerate all of them... I remember the date, because I remember Terry Pratchett died around that time...
In a nut shell... I was reminded some of us belong with all things broken, unlovable outcasts and ugly animals, to paraphrase Mr Clare

But I am drawing again at least, so here it is ... Devil in the Woods, as I saw it in my dream...


Oh... I was tagged by my dear Kivutar... I do not usually play that game... and I doubt anyone cares which is my favorite planet or color and such... (and you should have gathered by now that my favorite game romance is Pyramid Head and... anything really... ) But since I love her work I shall use it as an excuse to shamelessly promote her again and again

There is always darkness at the bottom of my heart, strangely alluring and mysterious... it whispers. I was always drawn to drawings and pictures that are darker, both in color and in the specific mood they covey. We try to live ignoring the dark-side, focus on positive aspects of life. And darkness is like a deep, grim pond right next to our path, that we try not to look at. But some of us stop, and take a glance, and crouch by the edge and dip fingers in the murky waters, answering some strange whispers. I do it each time I stumble onto drawings such as this:


"Ghouls" There are many reasons that draw me into this picture, like the quiet New England village, a place trapped in time, trapped in the past, and its small graveyard where tombstones are what they should, standing tall, casting shadows, not just plaques on the ground. And the Ghouls of course creeping into fringes of that calm night, like agents of chaos, agents of darkness.

 
"Huginn and Muninn" The moon and the crows, and the twisted dry branches of a dead tree. Rooks, crows and ravens are too agents of darkness, they always stand on the dark side in our mind. Perhaps because they feed on carrion, perhaps because the darkness shimmers in their feathers. They carry our fears on their wings. And the moon, rather glows then shines, casting its eerie light, it does not seem to dissipate the darkness only gives it charm.
"Path of Thorns" Dark forests are like dark places, mysterious and tempting, but also scary. They awaken in my mind what has been dormant and primal. They draw me in like magnet, and I know with one step I can leave reality behind with its reason and logic and mundane affairs, and cross over to a dark world and peek at its secret. I chose this picture in particular because I love the way the branches twist together, weaving a cage of sorts, closing over her, and the shimmering fog that s ready to embrace her.

"The Lepidopterist" creature of the dark woods, creature of moths. Moths stand for shadows, intuition, concealment and secret knowledge. They are delicate and fragile, yet beautiful in a different kind of beauty, not the standard type, colorful and  gleeful, this they leave to their day-time cousins. I think of this drawing as of the moth witch, hiding her face makes her less human, and I wonder does she have a face at all? what is under the skull... if anything but darkness?

"Underworld" I love the vibe of this picture, the general atmosphere it projects, tangible gloom. It i;s not the realism that is most important but the feel t has, how it makes me feel looking at it. And the Underworld is dark and the faint light cannot reach it, and it is always concealed from our eyes, until our time comes. I like the trees serving as the agents of the dark, enveloping coffins and the dead in their roots' grasp, passing them down, forcing them the down.

"Cemetary dance" Danse macabre a theme that bothered people from the Middle Ages also known as the Dark Ages. We are all mortal and the biggest mystery is death and what comes after if anything. It seems dwelling on the subject, considering it closely from all angles, helps to tame the idea. At first we might be scared to dip our fingers in the pool of darkness, but as we do we get used to it, and to get that eerie feeling in our hearts again, we need to move our hand deeper under the surface.
 
"The Crow" one of my favorite characters I remember from my early teens. Stuck between darkness and light between life and death. I have a lot of sentiment to this character, and to the artist who drew him. And I would not pass on the opportunity to include it here.


"beyond" I chose this one to close my collection of 10.  The promise of mystery and secrets. Like a gloomy equivalent of an lighthouse, seeping darkness, like a giant magnet, exerting tangible force to bring me closer.